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May. 27th, 2007 @ 09:21 pm bye hi
From the department of better-late-than-never:

While I keep an eye on the friendslist every few days, I don't do any posting on here anymore. This is because my partner and I have launched a more serious-like bloggy blog, called sparkwinter. It has lofty ambitions, as do we. See you there!
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winterwind
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Apr. 12th, 2007 @ 02:05 pm um
Okay, it's quite possible to be too naïvely dismissive, like I was yesterday. The drama isn't over. In fact, it's just getting started. Drama is part of life, as those new to power will soon discover. >_< And... it's to be cherished, for if it disappears, something is wrong.
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Apr. 11th, 2007 @ 02:29 pm whew
Okay, better. The drama is over - some misunderstandings were had, some mistakes were made and learned from, and some harm was caused, but we'll grow from this.

Hmm, I haven't posted here for a while. I guess it's because I feel like lj is where drama goes, and I've had a shortage of that lately. (Not that you friendslist people are drama-ish, I'm just talking about me. Something like that.) Less drama-ish things in my life are going to go somewhere else, which will be revealed when it's time. It'll be nice.
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winterwind
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Apr. 10th, 2007 @ 05:32 pm sorry
Current Mood: sadsorry
Somebody very close to me may have been deeply harmed by something I did. If so, I would like to express to that person, if zie reads this, that I'm sorry.
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valp
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Mar. 21st, 2007 @ 08:03 pm more
Another (*mumble*) days, another arbitrary amount of deity-hood. This is pretty fun. Well, yesterday and part of today were spent in a pitched battle against gravity, but the trick was to twist around and learn from it rather than letting go and sinking. Okay, I did lie on the floor for a few moments, but I didn't enjoy it.

The secret project goes very slowly, and I think it wants to. Even as enthusiastic as I've been lately about programming, I realize on many levels that I'm not good at it yet. Part of me knows how serious I am about doing this and advises me to pace myself to a bit at a time and not slog through too much menial typing at once. It's working. This is me being happy. Yay. *deadpan gaze* o_o

Oh... power. We hear a lot about of it, but what is it? Is it something we should strive for or something only the ruthless wield to keep the masses down? I'm inclined to the former. I mean, a lot of it is about definitions, and mine is that power equals ability. Ability is how much of our wants we end up making real, and my wants are for everybody to be happier and more at ease. I'm part of everybody, and if I don't achieve what I want, I can't do anything for anyone else either, so onward I go. Plus, one of the abilities I'm growing is the ability to be true to myself in many ways. I hope to always strive for this, because it's really kind of nice.
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Mar. 17th, 2007 @ 11:52 pm goddessesesses
It just occurred to me that there's a reason people aren't all deities in our own right - we're afraid that if we have the ability to do whatever we want, we'll suddenly acquire all the guilt for everything we haven't managed to do or prevent up until now. But we don't realize that we can decide that as well. We are fearful deities!
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Mar. 13th, 2007 @ 07:19 am goddess
I came across an article, on a blog. There's probably more of a story than that, but it's gone by now because it's a really great article. This is an understatement. Read this:

10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

This article is snarky, subversive, and satisfying, and it outlines in stark relief why getting a job is such a bad idea. Aside from it being utterly grim to do, that is - not that I'd know. But it came at a very good time, right when I started to ebb from a giddy high point. I think I've broken out of what was a very deep cycle, maybe even the cycle. I... am... a... goddess.

Oh, and ranting is still possible. There's lots of week left - I'll think about it.

Also, the article on that site about organizing made me rethink my whole cleaning project. I really want to sleep on it but am in the middle of an all-night coding marathon. Oh well, soon enough. *gulps tea*
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Mar. 10th, 2007 @ 11:36 am *
Tags: ,
If things keep looking up, I may rant this week. Yay.

For today, though. I'm posting this earlier than routine dictates because: 1. routines are overrated, and 2. I have a recent accomplishment that is too exciting not to share with the inter(net|web|sphere|blag).

For many years in a row I've had a dream of developing a game of some kind, one that needed to be made. A computer/video game in particular, natch. But a lack of conversation for the last few days has made me resort to cannibalism. I mean, programming. (I always get those mixed up.)

I've never been good at programming, even though some parts of it interest me in a morbid fascination sort of way, but recent mental upgrades may have helped me comprehend what code actually does. I actually know what pointers do now, for instance! They, um, point. To things. Like so:
int *point = &things;
Just looking at that twists my brain, but no longer in a way that prevents me from using one. That's something, isn't it? x__o

So, um, right. Mental pretzeling aside, the point is that I actually managed to write some code to the point where I can move a sprite around on the screen. This is personally amazing and may even be marketable one day, but... now the dream is in sight and getting bigger.
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nethack
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Mar. 6th, 2007 @ 04:11 pm lag?
Tags: ,
Yes! It's true. I am afraid of posting. It's not the only thing I'm afraid of, so that's okay.

Murmle, things things things. Over the last week and a half I've actually managed some cleaning, oo scary change. Stuff is in more of a pile than it was, but it's a sorted pile! As opposed to, you know, a sordid pile. Or something along those lines. Anyway, I still haven't gotten around to culling and evaporating the least useful things. As usual, hidden motives are suspected.

Stuff that interests me lately:

  • Drooling over computer chunks that I can only dubiously afford.
  • Somebody's working on a translation for the n64 Animal Forest. Like, right now.
  • Bubbling submerged rant on recreational chemicals that I am too intimidated to go on about right now.


Okay, I've accomplished some things. World not exploding yet. No worries.
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Feb. 21st, 2007 @ 09:00 pm floaty
Tags: ,
Again, it's one of those wednesday evenings. In lieu of something interesting to go on about, here is a piece of my life during this past seven days.

First and most important: food.

Earlier I experimented with other chowder-type dishes, having obviously not learned my lesson. The first was an extremely simple and tasty soup: potatoes, onions, salt - boil senseless and proportions to taste. Later on I tried some more with carrots, and probably too many of them because it turned out barely edible. Proportion definitely seems to be key.

Today? Some sort of meaty spaghetti-ish red sauce, in tortillas with cheese. Again, not too complicated, but I figure that if I keep to the simple things first, it'll be harder to mess up and more appealing to learn.

This brings us to other things, which are kind of foggy in my memory. In the most general terms they involve substances that are not food and are available without a prescription. I'm not usually in favor of using substances to alter one's perception, but I was willing to do the research and wanted to see some of the finer points of how one's perspective can change. The results were interesting, frightening, and may have helped me along in ways I didn't expect. I'm still mulling this over and further thoughts may or may not be posted.

What else? Hmm... another week closer to accepting myself and the world. What more could I ask for?
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winterwind
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